|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| lawd have mercy. It's almost 2010. apparently the world hasn't collapsed yet. My world almost did, and I've spent many an hour repairing a schism here or there. I take care of my little italian grama, angelina, who is now 92. I am a single-subject English major at San Diego State's extension campus here, to facilitate my being here in the imperial valley. I love being a loser nerd for literature. I'm tackling Russian (<3), French, Irish, American, etc. this semester.
In many ways, life has come full circle in an absurd/ironic/safe/incomprehensible way. The desert is still sandy, and the stars will never shine as brightly anywhere else. I am proud of myself and "progress," whatever that is. In other ways that I try my best to ignore, I'll never ever be quite the same person again. Sometimes things break, and it's impossible to ever fully accept, no matter how time passes (whatever time is, for that matter). Xanga is a difficult place to come back to, but it's beautiful all the same.
On the other hand, I'm in love with the Russians and their literature, I'm going to Greece next summer, and can imagine most anything anywhere!
I miss the old xanga community and this is my hello tribute to everyone still out there! | | |
| pass the word along. tell the men, it's time to shoot the moon. SHOOT THE MOOON?!?!? hell yeah.
| | |
| so in retelling, i basically have been getting *itchslapped by life on a pretty regular basis lately.
currently
i have some type of "laryltracheobronchitis," which, as a smoker is
usually a precursor to pneumonia. needless to say, there hasn't been a
whole lot of cigarette-age these last few excruciating days.
(excruciating, despite everything else, from the lack of sufficient
tobacco) and i said it best when i thought,
"what the hell ever. this is crazy."
i'm
starting to think it had something to do with salud's with my mom to a
"less crappy and more magnificent year this time around." because so
far, the irony...or hypocrisy of that wish is astounding.
naturally,
it is all being taken in stride, and i am amused. my amusement has
more to do with situational humor and less to do with the fact that
when i talk, it's actually mickey mouse talking.
i would like to say that i'm a hypochondriac out loud, but unfortunately, i can't. without sounding ridiculous, that is.
for a good chuckle, call me and wait for me to pick up.
| | |
| and there you were
with circumstance
or pomp
or some such elaboration of some truth
with ringlets and stray hairs
and semblances of some reality
not anyone else's that i could recall.
but i somehow knew it was.
true.
| | |
| tomorrow is when the new year really starts, it seems like. i'll be starting up at a radical cafe/restaurant downtown called fuel for your world. no weekends and an awesome environment combined with good attitudes make it exciting.
these last two weeks have been a nightmare. first there was a terrible accident in the desert, where my family was camped for new year's weekend...everyone is perfectly fine, more or less, but the truck i was in rolled several times and i was ejected from the front passenger window (obviously sans seatbelt), which just might have saved my life. the first thing i remember is screaming like a banshee and kicking at the front windshield with both feet, one of which i later realized was majorly sprained or pulled or ripped or something. my friends were inside of the car and the yelling brought them back to this world and they freaked, thinking i was trapped under the truck, which was laying on its right side. they climbed out of the top, or side door window, and we finally got a ride back to my family's camp. all in all, it was definitely a miraculous situation. it easily was one of the wrecks of the year and any other 99% of the time would have been fatal. i don't remember anything from the accident at all, but my glasses got smashed and lost somewhere and i had sage branches in my hair the next day. thankfully, besides the ankle and bruises, that was it. and amazingly, my old true blue friend katie, who drove from yuma, arizona to see me turned out completely unscathed, save some bruises and a skinned finger. we told her that for crying out loud, we wanted a memorable weekend, but this was too much. i didn't go to the doctor or anything, which was a really stupid decision.
after that josh came home, which was great, and we were slobs for awhile, watching a ridiculous amount of movies and eating a ridiculous amount of whoopie pies.
then 3 nights ago i had crazy pains in my stomach and back and cramped up and felt like throwing up all night. i felt better the next morning, so i just ignored it and went to the observation at my now-new job. so the next night, after working out with josh i suddenly got staggeringly intense pain shooting through my lower abdomen. i was hunched and crying and i didn't know what the hell to do at all. i thought i would have to go to the hospital, finally, but i just took an old "gumby" strength muscle relaxant and passed out. (the emerging theme, apparently, is that i have an issue with going to the doctor. i think we like to imagine we come from the wild wild west to the point that we forgo the formalities of the medical establishment...)
when i woke up, things were about the same so i went to the emergency room. when they found out i had been in the wreck they all started swarming around, hysterical that i might have internal bleeding. they vicodin-ed and ibuprofen-ed me, got an i.v. started and injected me with dye to see if that was the case with a cat scan on my abdomen and an x-ray on my ankle.
ankle, of course, is not broken, which is pretty obvious a week afterward, but they found some fluid pooled up by my pelvis. it turned out that it wasn't internal bleeding, but they now believe that i probably have an ovarian cyst that either partially or completely ruptured. it shouldn't be a big deal, unless it's some scary thing called endometriosis or something, and the extremely rare possibility that it is a tumor. so now (sigh) i have to go get an ultrasound and blah blah blah. i feel like a maniac hypochondriac. it's like once a year i completely fall apart, and now is that time.
the vicodin is definitely awesome (:)) for the pain, which is a lot better, and i'll go to work tomorrow a bit loopy, but otherwise fine. i guess everyone gets a turn once in awhile.
| | |
|
|
the ish
|
|
"to create...enclaves...of intelligence + beauty amidst the chaotic seas of human stupidity + ugliness...would furnish the rest of mankind the pattern for a more comfortable + more intelligent existence."
ralph bordosi
|
|
